The Weight
by bm0611
Summary: Kendal is a writer seeking a calm retreat from her big city life. What she finds in Charming may be exactly what she was trying to escape.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All recognizable story lines and characters belong to Kurt Sutter and FX.

Chapter 1:

There was a weight pulling at Kendal. She felt it at any given moment lumped in her gut like lead. It was the weight of chaos—the incredible brokenness of the life she'd lived. Sometimes it was in her heart, reminding her that she just wasn't enough. She could hold her own for a one night stand, but every man left her before daylight. She just wasn't good enough for a morning.

Currently, the weight was physical—a pelvis pushing against her skin. Soon enough the contact would be broken and the weight of loneliness would settle in for a while. It was an endless truth. Kendal would work in circles to overcome it before she fell into her pattern again.

One last push and a bite to break skin, the warm body riddled with tattoos brushed Kendal's cheek and eased himself from the bed. Kendal could feel the pull again. She knew that a fit of tears was next, but she couldn't let her current companion see her weakness. She turned on the bed to face the wall and, with the close of her door, she let the guilt and hurt consume her.

She hadn't always lived in that cycle. She'd once been vibrant. Even now, she was a successful writer. She'd spent countless weeks on the New York Time's Best Sellers list. She'd paid for her home in full. She'd afforded the better amenities in her life. What she needed she couldn't quite grasp. She'd long since accepted that she couldn't do any better. Every man that couldn't see past a midnight meeting had proven that. And Kendal was at fault as well. Maybe the next day would be an awakening. Maybe she would finally break the cycle and move forward.

Maybe.

AN: The first few chapters of this story are going to be really short. I've struggled to come up with a new story for weeks. I just decided to start posting and work on a chapter by chapter basis. Feedback is greatly appreciated. I'm kind of at a lack of inspiration lately, so please bear with me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Jordan's face was pinched for a moment. It reminded Kendal of that moment after the first taste of bitter lemonade—the tightening of her lips never fading. "Why the hell would you go to some small hick town in NoCal. Your work has been just fine from here. New York is the mecca of writing and literature. Why leave?"

Kendal looked down at her half eaten salad before she spoke. "I need to get away from the city for a while." She sounded broken—voice cracking in her attempt to swallow the tears. "I have an idea for a new book. I just can't find any inspiration here. I need to go for a while." Kendal looked at Jordan thoughtfully, "You're an amazing publicist and an even better friend, but I need to do this."

Jordan just nodded her head. This was goodbye for a while. Kendal had woken up the morning following her latest tryst and had a realization… it was time for change.

One week later, Kendal found herself surrounded by luggage in a car en route to her rental in Charming, California. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she took in the sleepy town. Charming was a far cry from the concrete jungle that was New York City. However, she was shocked when she came to a stop in front of her temporary home. The house was gorgeous 2-story Victorian with a lush yard. What she hadn't expected was the Auto garage and MC across the road. That certainly wasn't listed on the rental description.

Kendal was at a loss. She hadn't bargained on having a group of men right outside of her front door. This was bound to spell out disaster with her track record. But she couldn't help but look on with lust as she watched a tanned, tatted biker swagger his way to a Harley and pull out of the lot.

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

AN: Again. This is a short chapter but I am working on getting the plot up and going.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

_Paige's hand reached down to feel the bulge beneath the denim of his jeans and her other hand wrapped itself in his leather vest… _

Kendal paused. She hadn't expected to go in that direction. When she sat down to write, she just found the words flowing. She caught one sight of the dark skinned, hard looking biker and she let the wet dreams she'd been having bleed onto the computer. She hadn't even gotten a good look at his face, but Kendal felt the overwhelming urge to let him break her newfound morality.

If she was honest with herself, it was one of the best stories she had written in a while. Jordan had been ecstatic about the chapters she had emailed already. The downside to throwing herself into a book was that she hadn't ventured outside of the house in days. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic.

Closing her MacBook, Kendal pushed back from her desk and made her way to the closet. She needed some fresh air and a good meal certainly couldn't hurt. It was a warm 80 degrees outside, so she decided on a dark purple maxi dress that tied behind her neck. She slid on her black sandals and pulled her long, brunette hair into a top-knot. She grabbed her black wayfarer sunglasses and keys on her way out the door.

The weather was gorgeous. There was a slight breeze rustling the trees and the sun just peaked out from behind the clouds. It was too perfect a day to drive to the diner a couple of blocks away. She decided to walk.

Kendal was enamored with the charm of the town. It reminded her of an episode of Gilmore Girls. Even the diner as she walked in was quaint. She spotted a table next to the window in the corner and had a seat. An older lady with a southern drawl took her order and called her _honey_. It was sweet.

She was halfway through her rodeo burger when the bell on the door sounded off. Kendal nearly choked when she noticed the menacing-looking, smokin' hot biker take a seat at the table directly next to her booth. It was _him_—the walking wet dream. He was accompanied by a tall blonde guy in a matching leather vest. She recognized the name on the back-Sons of Anarchy. It was bolted to the side of the building every time she opened her front door. She felt the urge to lean over and run her fingers across the embroidered letters. Hell, her inner goddess was fighting to touch his skin, but she thought better than to make a fool of herself.

Kendal hadn't realized she was staring until the blonde flashed a pearly white smile at her. "Hey."

Kendal shared a small smile. "Hi. I noticed your vests. I live across the street from your….. I'm not sure what you call it."

The quiet wet-dream shifted his eyes in her direction. "Clubhouse."

"Right." She shifted her attention back to her burger, but she suddenly lost her appetite. When Kendal looked up she noticed Judith, the sweet southern lady setting her ticket on the table. Kendal settled her bill with Judith and readied to leave. Before she could stand, the blonde reached his hand in her direction.

"Kozik. You should come to our party tonight. You'll hear it either way. May as well have some fun."

Kendal shook his hand. "I'm Kendal."

As she released his hand, he spoke again. "This is Happy. He's not very happy."

Happy shook his head, but his face never gave off any humor. Completely out of character, he reached over and shook her hand as well. He never spoke, but words were not necessary. Kendal swore she felt a jolt of electricity at his touch. It was constant until their contact was broken.

Kendal grabbed her keys and set her sunglasses back on her face before she turned to the guys. "Maybe I'll see you around," and she left.

As she returned to her house, Kendal felt the urge to write. She could still feel the added electricity throughout her body and took to the keyboard to write it out.

AN: I feel like this is finally getting somewhere.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Kendal spent a solid 2 days at her computer writing. She'd operated on less sleep than she had in college, but at the end, she had a completed first draft of her book. Her initial idea before coming to Charming was a far cry from the story she'd turned out. Her story of a shy new woman in town being seduced by the lifestyle of a hot biker was ringing a little truer than she wanted to admit.

_Happy_. She was intrigued, but by his demeanor upon their meeting, he wasn't. Not that it surprised her. She never had been anyone's first choice. With that thought she felt that weight settle in her gut once again. She'd failed to notice its absence over the week that she'd been in Charming. But once again, she felt the force of it anchoring her in reality.

It was a Friday. Kendal's draft had been emailed for maybe an hour before she heard the pulse of music echoing from across the street. She peered through the window to find a party in full swing. Her first instinct was to find something for dinner and relax in front of the television, but after a couple of hours, she was itching to go to the party. She'd technically been invited by Kozik. Even if it ate at her later, she felt the need to seek Happy out—just to lay eyes on him.

Kendal searched through the clothing she'd brought with her. She had no idea what one wore to a biker party, but leather seemed like a safe choice. She settled on a leather one-shoulder dress that ended halfway down her thigh and fit like a glove. She threw on a pair of heels and fluffed her straight hair.

It was 11pm when she made her way through the doors of the clubhouse. It was packed wall-to-wall with leather clad men and sleazy women. She began to squeeze her way through the crowd ending at the bar. She told a young man to grab her a glass of whiskey before she felt someone sit next to her. She didn't expect to find Happy perched next to her, looking in her direction. She sure as hell didn't expect him to talk to her.

"I didn't think you'd actually come. Don't seem like your kind of scene." His voice was gruff and sexy.

Kendal felt a confidence build-up in her that she usually did when she was with a man that gave her attention. "Guess you don't know me that well then." She positioned herself on the stool so that she oozed sex appeal. "So, you do speak?"

She was shocked when he smiled. "Not much. Makes me seem dangerous."

"It's sexy for sure." Outwardly, Kendal looked completely confident. Inside, she was screaming at herself to stop. She knew that she was only furthering the pattern that she needed to break. She felt her face shift as that realization hit her. Happy was looking at her in confusion. "I need to go. Sorry." She didn't even give him a chance to respond before she bolted towards the door.

Kendal warily made her way through the crowd and outside toward the house. She fell back against the door and let the emotion washed over her. The realization hit…_she_ was the problem. She kept herself in the endless cycle of pain and broken hearts.

Kendal let the wave of tears dry before she stood from the floor. Before she could walk away the door sounded with a loud knock.

AN: Another one down. It should start getting better soon.


	5. Author's Note

I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while. The truth is that I've kind of hit a slump in my SOA inspiration. I guess it's probably a long time coming since I cranked out 5 stories in such a short period of time. Hopefully when I get into the new season, I will regain my inspiration and finish this story. For now, I'm going to focus on writing some wrestling stories (I know…it's cheesy, but I'm a longtime fan).

I promise I will get back to SOA in a few months. I just need to do something different for a while. Thank you guys so much for your reviews and support. You are simply amazing!

=) Brandi


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